Loving During A Pandemic.

 

It is almost impossible to stage a traditional Valentine's Day outing when everyone is locked up or wearing masks and distancing at least six feet apart. The days of fancy dinners in exotic locations are out of reach. But that doesn't mean that you can't enjoy and show love if you are willing to be creative and wise.

Let's examine the three psychological aspects of love:

Thoughts - So many times I have been touched by individuals who tell me that they have been thinking about me. What a compliment! Someone who invests time and energy into reviewing memories or wondering about my well-being is a lovely thing. Those who think about how they can honour another person go even a step further. Planning a surprise or interaction takes commitment and even if you can't meet in person, you can think of ways to make another person's day better. At Christmas, for example, my daughter's family had a full meal delivered to my door for me. Great thoughts turned into thoughtful action. Who are you thinking about this week?

Feelings - The first blush of love can bring passionate feelings that are delightful but with time, the feelings often mature into constant assurance, deep loyalty and the confidence of being cared for. When times are difficult, the feelings can fade or even change into ones that are not as pleasant. It is therefore important to know that no matter what happens issues can be resolved and the relationship can last. In fact, shared trouble often builds stronger ties! One warning though - don't always lead with your feelings for they can be like chaff in the wind and change quickly!

Behaviours - Proclaiming your love and then treating another person poorly isn't good enough. Your behaviours must match your words. Giving gifts won't make up for disrespect or abuse. Promises are not enough. You can show a person that you love them with simple gestures that will be treasured for years to come. Phone an aged friend and find out that the call made their day! Send a thank you card to someone who didn't expect it. Take out the garbage (before being asked!). Like the popular song from "My Fair Lady" states "Don't talk of love... SHOW ME!"

So, this Valentine's Day will be different - but it might be the best one yet!

Don't just focus on the romantic part. Instead, make a list of people who you love and then start thinking about how you can behave in an appropriate way to express your feelings. Think about things that they have talked about as wishes in the past and what has pleased them previously. Do research that will offer you new ideas. Try making a card or gift rather than buying one.

And remember to use your words. There is nothing as powerful and treasured as kind words that are expressed sincerely.

Love to all of you who show that you care by reading my columns!

And happy pandemic Valentine's Day!

And now I would like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to a complimentary list of 10 Steps to Making Your Life an Adventure when you visit http://lindahancock.com

From Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/10488411

How to Be a Happy Mum - Five Self Help Tips to Enjoy Motherhood!

You could be a happy mum if the children would only stop fighting or did as they were told. You could enjoy motherhood more if your partner did more housework or gave you more time out. Or if you had more money, right?

Well, here's the thing. If you wait for the behaviour of your children/husband or your financial status to reach certain conditions in order for you to be happy, you are placing your happiness into someone or something else's hands, and thus it becomes purely by chance that you will experience happiness.

Why not put the power to be happy back into your own hands by becoming personally responsible for it? You cannot control another person's behaviour, but you can control your own. Here are just five tips that will help you to become a happier mum, enjoy motherhood and control how much happiness you experience in your life:

1. Observe your thoughts

What are you saying to yourself? Become the observer and analyse what you say to yourself and the effect it has on your emotions. Often anger arises when we continue negative dialogues with ourselves which escalates into external outrage. Also, we can get attached to an idea or picture we create of how something needs to be done or how an outcome should look. We often compare current life to the one we had before children. When you become a parent, housework cannot get done in 6 hour sessions anymore. You cannot take off for a weekend away alone without prior organising and planning. The reality is that life has changed and you have to consciously change the way you think about your current lifestyle. Consider whether your expectations are realistic or whether you are stuck in the past and the way you used to be able to do things.

2. Accept the NOW

Whatever you are experiencing, that is what you are experiencing. There is nothing positive that comes from wishing it were another way, or hating the way that it is. Become the observer to unenjoyable situations (eg tantrum, disobedience) with acceptance, rather than resistance. If you are angry, observe the anger. EXPERIENCE the event and all that it entails (your reaction, emotions, thoughts, circumstances) and accept it as it is. Resistance causes you to stay stuck in it, acceptance helps you detach, become more objective about it and handle it smoother. "Okay, it is what it is, so what am I going to do about it?"

3. Know what you want

We often get stuck in our problems because we don't take time to consider what we really want. Do I want more time out? Do I want to be calmer? Do I want to improve my relationship? Be specific about what exactly this entails. Do I want 4 hours of time out, or a day, or a week? Know what you want, so that you can then create a plan to get it.

4. Be Solution Focussed

Next, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to get what I want?' then resource how to fix this problem and create a plan to achieve it. Find behaviour strategies, learn skills, take time- out if that's what you want. Put your attention on the solution and how you are going to move out of this unenjoyable situation, rather than staying stuck in the problem.

5. Personal Development. Get to know the YOU Inside the Mum.

What about you? Take the time to learn about yourself, build your self-esteem and self-confidence. Find ways to overcome bad habits, handle past issues that often present themselves when becoming a mum, learn how you have become the person you are and consciously work towards being who you want to be.

The final piece to the Happy Mum puzzle is to seek happiness from inside yourself. When you learn true self-love and inner peace, it will radiate out into your external world and you will experience a happier life. You will interact differently with your children and that will be reciprocated in their behaviour. You will experience deeper relationships, overcome the lows of life quicker and experience more of the highs of life.

Enjoy motherhood by putting the responsibility to enjoy life back into your hands and discover yourself from the inside out.

Want more Self Help and Personal Development information specifically in the context of raising children? You can achieve calmness, balance and happiness by putting yourself back in charge of your life. Vist [http://www.selfhelpformums.com] and find The Happy Mum Handbook - a unique and must have book for mums that gives you the tools to change the way you feel about your life, be happy, and still be the good mother you aspire to be. You can free yourself from motherhood stress and the best news is that you can do all this in 5 simple, easy to remember steps.

The Happy Mum Handbook covers topics such as: Finding happiness, controlling your mindset, handling anger and guilt, discovering your personal identity, time Management, time Out, and creating the ultimate relationship with your partner.

At last you can have your cake and eat it too and be available to yourself and your kids. You don't have to wait for your children to reach a certain developmental age, go to school, or turn 18.

Learn how to live a happy and inspirational life TODAY at Self Help for Mums.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Jackie_Hall/218999

How New Mums Can Start Reclaiming Their Bodies.

 

People who speak of the beauty of childbirth have clearly never experienced a truly traumatic birth where it seems like everything has gone wrong and the birth plan has gone well and truly out of the window. Once all the unpleasantness is over, mummy and daddy can leave the hospital with their new baby and they can start to relax into their routine. In the idyllic situation, father will dote on mum and baby and mum will try and reclaim her ravaged body.

A lot has been made of the dangers of new mums exercising too soon after birth of their babies. Mums who are breastfeeding are advised to stay away from dieting as baby needs all of the nutrients from their milk that they can get. So much pressure is placed on new mums to reclaim their pre-pregnancy bodies yet medical advice conflicts with the societal pressures. No wonder women are confused!

If, as a new mother, it is too soon to take part in any dieting or exercise in a bit to lose the baby weight.

Here are things you can do to reclaim your body.

1. Try and get plenty of sleep. It can be incredibly difficult if your baby is particularly fussy but do try to follow the 'sleep when your baby does' rule as it does work! 

2. Keep hold of your identity. Too many women become 'Charlie's mum' and forget that they were a person before they had a baby. If your parents are forthcoming babysitters, don't feel guilty for accepting their generous offers as they're doing it because they want to bond with their grandchild. Go out for a coffee with a friend or a dinner date with your husband, it is refreshing and both you and baby will benefit. 

3. Take care of your skin. Some new mums don't feel they have time to even wash their hair. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, natural grease is a good conditioner for your hair but your skin will need much more attention, especially your stomach. Not only can you moisturise your skin to help lessen the appearance of stretch marks, massage can help drain excess fluid and help skin appear firmer.

So there you have it, new mums don't have to get involved in diet and exercise so soon after birth. Pampering your skin, getting plenty of sleep and retaining your identity are the key things you can do until your body and your baby is ready for you to lose your baby weight and become the yummiest mummy around.

For more information about organic skincare [http://www.buyorganics.co.uk] for new mums, visit the buyOrganics website.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Paul_Lanham/231042

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What To Do When You Lose Self Confidence As a New Mum.

 

When you become a new mum, your self confidence and self esteem can quickly take a dive, particularly when things don't go quite as well as planned. 

One of the major issues new mums face is shifting from being in control of your child during pregnancy to feeling completely lost as your child begins to develop and grow into this new life. When things such as breastfeeding and regular sleep do not go well, new mums often begin to question their parenting methods and begin to assume they must be doing something wrong. Add to this the opinions of friends, other mothers, family members and health professionals, it's no wonder so many new mums begin to feel like failures.

So what can you do if you begin to feel like a failure, or begin to self criticise yourself?

Reduce the pressure you are placing on yourself. 

One of the first big mistakes new mums make is to stop listening to their instincts and to begin listening instead to everyone else's advice and opinion on how best to parent their new baby. 

As a new mum, it's very easy to begin to doubt yourself when things you try (like breastfeeding or placing a baby in a swaddle to sleep) simply do not work, particularly when you have been told by experts that these are the best ways to feed or get your baby to sleep. What no-one seems to tell new mums (or perhaps as new mums it's hard to believe), there is no 1 manual of parenting that works for every child. 

Each baby is different and also has a mind of his/her own. Some babies will easily soothe, for instance, whilst other will not. Some babies will sleep for 2-3 hour stretches at a time, whilst others will only power nap for 30 minutes at a time. If you begin to place too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, you will quickly begin to start feeling overwhelmed and self criticism will begin to seep into your mindset and quickly reduce your self confidence. So, the key is to have a parenting plan and then to just go with the flow.

 Sometimes your parenting style will work wonders, but other times it won't (for instance if your baby is feeling overtired or unwell). These are the times to take a break and just try something new when you are feeling more calm and rational.

Trust that you know your baby best

As a primary carer, no-one knows your baby better than you. Other experts and parents can provide you with support and advice as to what they have observed or perhaps trialled successfully with their children, but ultimately, you know your child best. 

You will know if your child will respond well to new environments, people and parenting styles. you will be able to assess whether sleeping methods such as controlled crying are right for your child and your family. Trust that you have your child's best interests at heart and always look at things from the perspective of ensuring your child is safe, healthy, happy and secure (eg living in a harmonious environment).

Catch yourself in moments of negative self-talk 

If you begin you hear yourself speaking negatively about your parenting style, try to catch yourself in the moment and refrase your words. For instance, if you catch yourself saying things like "I'm never going to get my baby to sleep", alter this to "Every baby eventually sleeps, we just need to keep adjusting things until we get things working well for our family". 

Reducing negative self talk will go a long way towards boosting your confidence and ensuring you maintain a healthy self esteem throughout motherhood.

For more positive parenting support visit Help For Mums today at http://www.helpformums.com/therapies/mums/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Lizzie_O'Halloran/1209055

Important Message For All Mums!

 

This is for all mums: mums-to-be, new mums, experienced mums, old mums, working mums, stay-at-home mums, yummy mums and stressed mums...

* For always being the one who eats the broken biscuits at the bottom of the tin that nobody else will touch;

* For being able to wake up from a deep sleep in the middle of the night to attend to nappies/wet beds/trips to the loo/nightmares/projectile vomiting when everyone else seems unable to;

* For always having food in the cupboard, loo roll in the bathroom, and the knowledge to cook a dinner out of nothing;

* For carrying on when you sometimes REALLY don't want to;

* For teaching your child how to walk, talk, use the potty/toilet, eat with a knife and fork, hold a pen and write, count, learn colours and a million other things;

* For sorting out the bills (because you probably do, don't you?);

* For remembering X's birthday/anniversary, etc and sending a card - on time;

* For feeding the pets every day - and changing their water too;

* For doing the school run every day, rain or shine;

* For having that magic touch that rubs away pain and kisses tears dry;

* For not being too shy to sing and dance in public when it means you can avoid tantrums;

* For putting on all the voices when you read the bedtime story;

* For checking for nits (and dealing with them if you find them);

* For sitting in the park when you really want to be sitting by a pool with a glass of wine;

* For being the secret Sock Fairy who can wash, match and put away endless not-quite-identical black or white socks without breaking down;

* For making sure the family get their 5 portions a day;

* For having an answer at the ready when you are asked where babies come from;

* For being the only one who cleans the bathroom properly and knows where dirty washing belongs;

* For saying "no" to those high heeled shoes/freakishly expensive trainers even if "all their friends have them";

* For having the best cuddles, end of story;

I just want to say "thank you" - because I don't think mums are thanked anywhere near enough. What we do may not necessarily have a £60k salary or a swanky office, but we do an amazing job shaping and nurturing these human beings under our care (even before they are born). It may seem like a grind (and worse some days), but all those big and little things we all do every day keep the world turning and life flowing. Without mums in the world it would be a grim place (not to mention an untidy one with everyone wearing odd socks and never getting anywhere on time!). I salute you/me!

I'm a married mum, running by business from our home in Norfolk, England. For some great treats for your mum, I'd love you to take a look at http://www.photofairytales.co.uk - unique, thoughtful and unusual personalised gifts that will make her smile.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Sarah_Thexton/643532

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The Secret of Positive Thinking That Only Few Know.

 

Through positive thinking, your power of subconscious mind and energy reach high levels through which you can achieve things very easily. This is the secret of positive thinking. 

Some positive thinking techniques use more positive words in the place of negative words so that you will get positive energy. Self-talk to yourself positively 'I can do it', 'It is very easy', It is possible', then you can feel the difference.

The secret of positive thinking is that, if you motivate yourself positively, then you will definitely reach the goal. This is because your positive subconscious mind makes you act positively. 

If you think negatively and act negatively then the results will be negative. The way you think, the way you live. Eliminate positive thoughts from your mind and let positive thought dominate. Then see the difference in your life. Positive thinking not only bring success but also bring happiness in your life. 

Regular physical exercise like yoga, aerobics, etc. for at least half an hour a day is really helpful as it will boost positive thinking in your mind and helps to stay fit and healthy physically.

The secret of positive thinking is: Before you start a day, self talk to yourself that I am going to think positively this whole day, I will act and speak positively. If you do this, the day ahead will definitely be successful and positive. 

By changing your mind, you are changing your life. Only when you focus on positive things, positive words and positive thoughts you can live a happy and peaceful life. To gain happiness, success, good relationship, good health and wealth, all you need to do is to start positive thinking.

Joel Chue, Mind Science Expert is the author of "Secrets To Unlocking Your Real Potential" and "Deliberate Attraction" 
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/709561

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Joel_Chue/107023

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/709561

 

The Importance of Positive Affirmations to Kick Start Your Day.

If you want to be successful, positive affirmations should be part of your morning ritual. For example, if you are a business professional, you can get ready for professional meetings using morning affirmations. This will help you face challenges, reduce your frustration, and have a positive outlook on your life. In this short article, we are going to take a look at the importance of positive affirmations to start your day. Read on to find out more.

What is an affirmation?

In simple terms, a positive affirmation is a specific statement that can help you to get control over your negative thoughts. With these positive statements, you can visualize what you actually want to do in order to bring positive changes in your life.

Neuroscientists developed positive affirmations in the 70s. They created a combo of linguistics and psychological structured thought patterns in order to achieve their desired outcomes. The thing is that language patterns can have an impact on the outcomes we desire.

All you have to do it think about it. With the passage of time, these positive thoughts will have a positive impact on your mindset. You will feel the power of positive thinking as positive thoughts are the building blocks of reality. As you continue to use positive affirmations, you will experience a higher degree of ambition and confidence that will push you to you do whatever you want.

Positive affirmations can help you:

• Solve your problems
• Reduce anxiety and stress
• Achieve personal success
• Boost positive emotions
• Differentiate between negative and positive patterns of thought
• Strengthen your relationships
• Improve your relationships help you boost your confidence

Tips to get the most out of affirmations:

• Start your day with positive affirmations and repeat them over and over again
• Use positive affirmations in place of negative thinking
• Use the present tense for these positive statements
• If you are new to this phenomenon, know that it may take some time before you see the results of your effort.
• Say the positive statements out loud.
• Follow this routine for at least 30 days

Examples:

Now let's take a look at some great examples of positive statements you can repeat in the morning. Listed below are some of the statements that can help you get started.

1. I am fit both physically and mentally, and I am full of energy.
2. I have converted all of my negative energy into positive energy for a positive change.
3. With each passing day, I am feeling better and healthy than before
4. I love and take care of myself
5. I always feel great and radiate positive feelings
6. I have the right to good health and can do anything to take care of my body.

Long story short, if you want to bring positive changes in your life, we suggest that you change your mindset first. For this purpose, nothing can work better than positive affirmations. Therefore, you may want to change your routine and start your day with these positive statements. With the passage of time, you will experience positive changes in your life that will help you achieve success.

If you are looking for a great resource to help you tap into the power of positive affirmations, you can give a go to Positive Affirmationsly at https://positiveaffirmationsly.com/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Abdul_Waheed_Zafar/1306631

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