How to Be a Happy Mum - Five Self Help Tips to Enjoy Motherhood!

You could be a happy mum if the children would only stop fighting or did as they were told. You could enjoy motherhood more if your partner did more housework or gave you more time out. Or if you had more money, right?

Well, here's the thing. If you wait for the behaviour of your children/husband or your financial status to reach certain conditions in order for you to be happy, you are placing your happiness into someone or something else's hands, and thus it becomes purely by chance that you will experience happiness.

Why not put the power to be happy back into your own hands by becoming personally responsible for it? You cannot control another person's behaviour, but you can control your own. Here are just five tips that will help you to become a happier mum, enjoy motherhood and control how much happiness you experience in your life:

1. Observe your thoughts

What are you saying to yourself? Become the observer and analyse what you say to yourself and the effect it has on your emotions. Often anger arises when we continue negative dialogues with ourselves which escalates into external outrage. Also, we can get attached to an idea or picture we create of how something needs to be done or how an outcome should look. We often compare current life to the one we had before children. When you become a parent, housework cannot get done in 6 hour sessions anymore. You cannot take off for a weekend away alone without prior organising and planning. The reality is that life has changed and you have to consciously change the way you think about your current lifestyle. Consider whether your expectations are realistic or whether you are stuck in the past and the way you used to be able to do things.

2. Accept the NOW

Whatever you are experiencing, that is what you are experiencing. There is nothing positive that comes from wishing it were another way, or hating the way that it is. Become the observer to unenjoyable situations (eg tantrum, disobedience) with acceptance, rather than resistance. If you are angry, observe the anger. EXPERIENCE the event and all that it entails (your reaction, emotions, thoughts, circumstances) and accept it as it is. Resistance causes you to stay stuck in it, acceptance helps you detach, become more objective about it and handle it smoother. "Okay, it is what it is, so what am I going to do about it?"

3. Know what you want

We often get stuck in our problems because we don't take time to consider what we really want. Do I want more time out? Do I want to be calmer? Do I want to improve my relationship? Be specific about what exactly this entails. Do I want 4 hours of time out, or a day, or a week? Know what you want, so that you can then create a plan to get it.

4. Be Solution Focussed

Next, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to get what I want?' then resource how to fix this problem and create a plan to achieve it. Find behaviour strategies, learn skills, take time- out if that's what you want. Put your attention on the solution and how you are going to move out of this unenjoyable situation, rather than staying stuck in the problem.

5. Personal Development. Get to know the YOU Inside the Mum.

What about you? Take the time to learn about yourself, build your self-esteem and self-confidence. Find ways to overcome bad habits, handle past issues that often present themselves when becoming a mum, learn how you have become the person you are and consciously work towards being who you want to be.

The final piece to the Happy Mum puzzle is to seek happiness from inside yourself. When you learn true self-love and inner peace, it will radiate out into your external world and you will experience a happier life. You will interact differently with your children and that will be reciprocated in their behaviour. You will experience deeper relationships, overcome the lows of life quicker and experience more of the highs of life.

Enjoy motherhood by putting the responsibility to enjoy life back into your hands and discover yourself from the inside out.

Want more Self Help and Personal Development information specifically in the context of raising children? You can achieve calmness, balance and happiness by putting yourself back in charge of your life. Vist [http://www.selfhelpformums.com] and find The Happy Mum Handbook - a unique and must have book for mums that gives you the tools to change the way you feel about your life, be happy, and still be the good mother you aspire to be. You can free yourself from motherhood stress and the best news is that you can do all this in 5 simple, easy to remember steps.

The Happy Mum Handbook covers topics such as: Finding happiness, controlling your mindset, handling anger and guilt, discovering your personal identity, time Management, time Out, and creating the ultimate relationship with your partner.

At last you can have your cake and eat it too and be available to yourself and your kids. You don't have to wait for your children to reach a certain developmental age, go to school, or turn 18.

Learn how to live a happy and inspirational life TODAY at Self Help for Mums.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Jackie_Hall/218999

How New Mums Can Start Reclaiming Their Bodies.

 

People who speak of the beauty of childbirth have clearly never experienced a truly traumatic birth where it seems like everything has gone wrong and the birth plan has gone well and truly out of the window. Once all the unpleasantness is over, mummy and daddy can leave the hospital with their new baby and they can start to relax into their routine. In the idyllic situation, father will dote on mum and baby and mum will try and reclaim her ravaged body.

A lot has been made of the dangers of new mums exercising too soon after birth of their babies. Mums who are breastfeeding are advised to stay away from dieting as baby needs all of the nutrients from their milk that they can get. So much pressure is placed on new mums to reclaim their pre-pregnancy bodies yet medical advice conflicts with the societal pressures. No wonder women are confused!

If, as a new mother, it is too soon to take part in any dieting or exercise in a bit to lose the baby weight.

Here are things you can do to reclaim your body.

1. Try and get plenty of sleep. It can be incredibly difficult if your baby is particularly fussy but do try to follow the 'sleep when your baby does' rule as it does work! 

2. Keep hold of your identity. Too many women become 'Charlie's mum' and forget that they were a person before they had a baby. If your parents are forthcoming babysitters, don't feel guilty for accepting their generous offers as they're doing it because they want to bond with their grandchild. Go out for a coffee with a friend or a dinner date with your husband, it is refreshing and both you and baby will benefit. 

3. Take care of your skin. Some new mums don't feel they have time to even wash their hair. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, natural grease is a good conditioner for your hair but your skin will need much more attention, especially your stomach. Not only can you moisturise your skin to help lessen the appearance of stretch marks, massage can help drain excess fluid and help skin appear firmer.

So there you have it, new mums don't have to get involved in diet and exercise so soon after birth. Pampering your skin, getting plenty of sleep and retaining your identity are the key things you can do until your body and your baby is ready for you to lose your baby weight and become the yummiest mummy around.

For more information about organic skincare [http://www.buyorganics.co.uk] for new mums, visit the buyOrganics website.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Paul_Lanham/231042

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What To Do When You Lose Self Confidence As a New Mum.

 

When you become a new mum, your self confidence and self esteem can quickly take a dive, particularly when things don't go quite as well as planned. 

One of the major issues new mums face is shifting from being in control of your child during pregnancy to feeling completely lost as your child begins to develop and grow into this new life. When things such as breastfeeding and regular sleep do not go well, new mums often begin to question their parenting methods and begin to assume they must be doing something wrong. Add to this the opinions of friends, other mothers, family members and health professionals, it's no wonder so many new mums begin to feel like failures.

So what can you do if you begin to feel like a failure, or begin to self criticise yourself?

Reduce the pressure you are placing on yourself. 

One of the first big mistakes new mums make is to stop listening to their instincts and to begin listening instead to everyone else's advice and opinion on how best to parent their new baby. 

As a new mum, it's very easy to begin to doubt yourself when things you try (like breastfeeding or placing a baby in a swaddle to sleep) simply do not work, particularly when you have been told by experts that these are the best ways to feed or get your baby to sleep. What no-one seems to tell new mums (or perhaps as new mums it's hard to believe), there is no 1 manual of parenting that works for every child. 

Each baby is different and also has a mind of his/her own. Some babies will easily soothe, for instance, whilst other will not. Some babies will sleep for 2-3 hour stretches at a time, whilst others will only power nap for 30 minutes at a time. If you begin to place too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, you will quickly begin to start feeling overwhelmed and self criticism will begin to seep into your mindset and quickly reduce your self confidence. So, the key is to have a parenting plan and then to just go with the flow.

 Sometimes your parenting style will work wonders, but other times it won't (for instance if your baby is feeling overtired or unwell). These are the times to take a break and just try something new when you are feeling more calm and rational.

Trust that you know your baby best

As a primary carer, no-one knows your baby better than you. Other experts and parents can provide you with support and advice as to what they have observed or perhaps trialled successfully with their children, but ultimately, you know your child best. 

You will know if your child will respond well to new environments, people and parenting styles. you will be able to assess whether sleeping methods such as controlled crying are right for your child and your family. Trust that you have your child's best interests at heart and always look at things from the perspective of ensuring your child is safe, healthy, happy and secure (eg living in a harmonious environment).

Catch yourself in moments of negative self-talk 

If you begin you hear yourself speaking negatively about your parenting style, try to catch yourself in the moment and refrase your words. For instance, if you catch yourself saying things like "I'm never going to get my baby to sleep", alter this to "Every baby eventually sleeps, we just need to keep adjusting things until we get things working well for our family". 

Reducing negative self talk will go a long way towards boosting your confidence and ensuring you maintain a healthy self esteem throughout motherhood.

For more positive parenting support visit Help For Mums today at http://www.helpformums.com/therapies/mums/

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Lizzie_O'Halloran/1209055

Important Message For All Mums!

 

This is for all mums: mums-to-be, new mums, experienced mums, old mums, working mums, stay-at-home mums, yummy mums and stressed mums...

* For always being the one who eats the broken biscuits at the bottom of the tin that nobody else will touch;

* For being able to wake up from a deep sleep in the middle of the night to attend to nappies/wet beds/trips to the loo/nightmares/projectile vomiting when everyone else seems unable to;

* For always having food in the cupboard, loo roll in the bathroom, and the knowledge to cook a dinner out of nothing;

* For carrying on when you sometimes REALLY don't want to;

* For teaching your child how to walk, talk, use the potty/toilet, eat with a knife and fork, hold a pen and write, count, learn colours and a million other things;

* For sorting out the bills (because you probably do, don't you?);

* For remembering X's birthday/anniversary, etc and sending a card - on time;

* For feeding the pets every day - and changing their water too;

* For doing the school run every day, rain or shine;

* For having that magic touch that rubs away pain and kisses tears dry;

* For not being too shy to sing and dance in public when it means you can avoid tantrums;

* For putting on all the voices when you read the bedtime story;

* For checking for nits (and dealing with them if you find them);

* For sitting in the park when you really want to be sitting by a pool with a glass of wine;

* For being the secret Sock Fairy who can wash, match and put away endless not-quite-identical black or white socks without breaking down;

* For making sure the family get their 5 portions a day;

* For having an answer at the ready when you are asked where babies come from;

* For being the only one who cleans the bathroom properly and knows where dirty washing belongs;

* For saying "no" to those high heeled shoes/freakishly expensive trainers even if "all their friends have them";

* For having the best cuddles, end of story;

I just want to say "thank you" - because I don't think mums are thanked anywhere near enough. What we do may not necessarily have a £60k salary or a swanky office, but we do an amazing job shaping and nurturing these human beings under our care (even before they are born). It may seem like a grind (and worse some days), but all those big and little things we all do every day keep the world turning and life flowing. Without mums in the world it would be a grim place (not to mention an untidy one with everyone wearing odd socks and never getting anywhere on time!). I salute you/me!

I'm a married mum, running by business from our home in Norfolk, England. For some great treats for your mum, I'd love you to take a look at http://www.photofairytales.co.uk - unique, thoughtful and unusual personalised gifts that will make her smile.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Sarah_Thexton/643532

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